Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Despite my general love affair with virtually all music all the time, there are a few certain songs that stick with me, that coat themselves over my skin and imbed themselves in my veins, infecting every part of me.
One of these songs is Green by Karen Savoca but you really need to see her in person to get the full life-changing experience. Don't question me, just see her when she next comes through your town.
Another song like this is Corrina, Corrina...the Leo Kottke version. (Save it, I know Bob Dylan is the be all and end all of all music or whatever but Leo Kottke kills this song. I don't know what that means, but I know it's a good thing).
This song stops me in my tracks. My breathing gets shallow and my pulse quickens in complete contrast to the molasses melody. Kottke's velvet voice washes over and engulfs me, invading the deepest parts of me. And when he sings, "cause I can't breathe, when she talks to me" my heart swells with sadness for all the love that's ever been lost or broken in the world.
This song kills me and lifts me up all at the same time.
It's amazing the power music can have over us....or the power we allow it to have over us.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Now, I'm not particularly new to this town but this town does have a reputation of being notoriously difficult for people to make friends. Maybe because all the young people leave town as soon as they have a set of car keys and $26 in their pocket.
I'm not opposed to meeting new people, but I wasn't exactly sure how this meet up of random strangers was going to go. But I knew I was looking forward to it.
I have discovered that I thrive around complete strangers. I'm talkative, funny, witty, polite and just enough out there to make people wonder if I'm actually crazy or just totally awesome (answer: totally awesome).
There is something so freeing about talking to people I suspect I'll never see again. There's really only two possible outcomes. 1. We become instant friends because you too are totally awesome. 2. I never see you again. What is there to lose? Literally nothing.
And of course the group turned to be very nice people (read: they laughed at my jokes!) but it was not without it's....well, "flaws" is a bit harsh but it's 435am and I can't really think of another word. It was more than obvious from the start that Joe Cool sitting next to me was there for the sole purpose of getting some tail. Once he heard the dreaded BF word escape my mouth he turned to my friend with the oh so clever expression of "So, what's your story?" (Ooooooo good one! Sorry to be missing out on that!) I mean he might as well have been wearing a shirt that said "Help. Not getting any." To be fair, my opinion of Joe may have been tainted after he came this close to puking his sushi all over me. (Hint: If you've never been to a sushi bar, don't order actual sushi! Ease into it for goodness sakes!)
Aside from that minor annoyance the evening was fine. I think it's funny I/people like me feel more open and more comfortable being ourselves around complete strangers than people who actually know and love us sometimes. We qualify it by saying "It's okay, they don't know me." This little phrase gives us the courage to be ourselves, say what we want, let it all hang out. But really, shouldn't it be "It's okay, they know me" that gives us that right? Don't our friends choose to be around us for a reason? Aren't they going to love us for who we are, and if they don't then to hell with them? Maybe it's society or maybe it's our attitude but I think I'll try a little more of the opposite. I probably won't start holding things back when it comes to strangers, but I'll work on being a lot more comfortable just being me around those who choose to associate with me. (changes into sweatpants and belches loudly). Ahhhhhhhhh, that's better.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Soooo, what to blog about today? (drums fingers) How about those Olympics, eh? Still going on for like another week. That's cool.
(flips through newspaper) Paper's sure looking thin. Not much going on there.
(stares blankly at computer screen.......blink.......blink)
Hmm, I may have the answer to my lack of dailey blogging problem. This is curious too as, I'm sure my friends could testify, I usually have a hard time keeping my trap shut for more than 45 seconds. And I relish being the center of attention. So why the e-writer's block? Laziness? Commitment issues (again!)? Trying to hard to be loved by the anonymous internet people? (I'm really starting to sound like I've got major issues. Sweet.)
I suppose the proper solution is just to write what I want, whenever I want it and the Internet People can take it or leave it. Aren't blogs really for our own satisfaction anyways? Like if we put it all out there, it's no longer in here and that makes us feel better for some reason?
Whatever the reason, I kinda like it, more than I thought I would. Mostly, I think I like the idea of sharing my quips and humorous observations with someone, anyone and this is the best venue to do so. As much as I love laughing at my own jokes, I like making other people smile a lot more.
Ahhhh if only I had a clever tagline. Maybe Paul Harvey can come up with one for me....
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
And nothing came.
And still nothing.
I had a hard day yesterday. My job is one that is filled with sadness and yesterday was particularly so...it will take a long time to get over. I find myself forever caught somewhere between counting my abundant blessings and being totally depressed about how unfair and unjust the world is. Either way, I feel like a damn fool.
So here's what helped me yesterday and today. Let it be said that yes, I am a Christian and no, I don't care what you are or what you believe or don't believe. Take it or leave it or find a way to apply it to your own life or don't. I don't want to convert you or offend you or cater to you. I just want to be me, and me needs this today. I hope it helps you in some way too. Or I hope you find whatever it is that helps you get through this life when it's not exactly sunshine and lovebeams.
blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.
blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.
blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.
blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.
blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.
blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.
blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Yes. That is one tortured looking groundhog. Now, I can't say that being coddled by a fat man in a top hat in front of thousands of people is my idea of a picnic, but the difference is I'm a person. I'm privileged enough to choose who coddles me and how many people are allowed to watch. And while I'm sure P squared is devastated by his inability to waddle and frolic with his wild cousin groundhogs, a robotic Phil is a bad idea for exactly three reasons:
1. Punxsutawney Phil has been living in the lap of luxury for some time now. He has a climate controlled habitat, all the food he could ever want, no predators, all for working for approximately 10 minutes a year. Were he to be suddenly released into the wild, he would, within several minutes no doubt, be eaten alive by whatever eats groundhogs (much like if Paris Hilton were to suddenly become poor).
2. Why would we take away the groundhog's only hero? Won't someone think of the baby groundhog cubs dreaming that maybe they, someday, could rise up, overcoming life's many obstacles and dangers to become the next Punxsutawney Phil? Don't robots already have enough heroes like Conky and Tony Dungy?
3. Really PETA? Don't you think there may be slightly bigger animal problems in the world like oh, I don't know, illegal dolphin hunting off the coast of Japan and the over-harvesting of many, many fish species in the oceans? How about people abusing their pets or trying to domesticate exotic animals? What about the circus? Why won't you do something to put an end to the freaking circus!?!?!
I say let Phil stay. The unfortunate reality is this groundhog has it better than most people in this country, let alone the world. Maybe someone should start a new organization, PETOP, People for the Ethical Treatment Of People. (Watch out! I have a soapbox and I know how to use it!)
I thought briefly of a forth reason being a general fear that the electronic groundhog would turn on the Top Hat Man and run amok in the streets of PA. But then I thought that would be ridiculous. Or would it.......
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Pandora is such a brilliant thing. It speaks to all of the lazy/experimental/musically challenged people of the internet. "Oh, you like that song eh? Ok, we'll just play songs that sound like that. Cool?" What could possibly go wrong?
I usually have Pandora on at work given the ridiculously long shifts I work. Friday night Pandora perfection was acheived. I put on my Sara Bareilles (aka sad white girl music) station and I couldn't believe what I heard - a wide variety of songs from a wide variety of artists with no repeats? (looks like I've finally got that karma back on track) And the songs were in perfect sequence, as if I had my own DJ in the closet who knew exactly which songs I wanted to hear next (new life goal?). I revelled in my music-induced bliss.
Saturday night brought all that bliss tumbling down like so many Jenga towers. It was a whole lotta bad, and for some reason it kept repeating itself. What's the deal Pandora? Don't want anyone to get too close? Not ready to committ? Oh, ok Joe Cool, you be that way, see if I care. Go ahead and go! And take your bipolar music with you! I don't need you!
*ahem* Anyways, let it simply be said that pandora is indeed a cruel mistress. I guess I'll continue to place my bets and pray for black. I'm sure there's some life metaphor in there somewhere but I prefer to leave it open for the reader's interpretation (read: lazy).
Saturday, January 30, 2010
All bitterness aside, there are some definite perks to working the night shift.
Perk #1 - I only work three days a week. Yeahhhhh, just let that sink in. Mmmmmm. That's nice.
Perk #2 - I finally, finally have a legitimate excuse to sleep all day.
Perk #3 - I feel like I've played this great trick on the world that only I know about. My drive home inevitably consists of one or more of these comments:
"Look at those kids waiting for the bus! You have to go to school alllllll day! Ha! I'm going to bed!"
"Look at that guy putting gas in his car in his suit! Going to work? Well! I'm going to bed! I already worked! Ha!"
"Look at this lady walking her dogs! Fresh air? Exercise? Sunshine? Nuts to that I'm going to sleep now!"
It's a secret, non-conformist euphoria that only us night hawks can appreciate.
There are con's a-plenty, as with any job, but I try not to dwell on them. Sure working "regular" hours might be nice, but I'd trade it all for the smug satisfaction that comes with being tucked in, snug as a bug while the rest of the world goes about its' daytime business without me.
Monday, January 25, 2010
So after my foil and brow wax (both excruciating in their own way) came the big cut. I explained that I would like an inverted bob with the longest piece at my chin, a total of 5-6 inches cut off. The following is the actual conversation that took place:
She: "Why so short?"
Me: "Oh, time for a change! I like having short hair"
She: "But that's really short."
She: "Just wanting a change huh?"
She: "So you're not depressed or pregnant or anything?"
Me: "Ummm, I don't think so?"
I won't delve into the plethora of thoughts rolling around in my head at this point but I will say this - depressed or pregnant!? Is a major haircut some kind of secret coping mechanism sought after by depressed and/or pregnant people? I guess depressed I can see, but haven't pregnant women already made enough bad choices? Do I look depressed? Or pregnant!??! (puts down bag of chocolates) Why can't I just get my haircut?
Well, despite that very awkward moment, cut my hair she did. And it looked so nice that I spent the rest of the night flipping it back and forth like a shorter-haired Cher. And it did make me feel happier, but it did not make me feel any less pregnant.
Later that night, at some point between the car and the front door, my euphoria overshadowed the icy sidewalk of death in front of my house. I fell, and every last ounce of my weight landed on my right elbow. The massive swelling, agonizing pain and my Hulk-like reaction made for an uncomfortable, albeit slightly comical, evening for my house guests. Thankfully the elbow is fine, though why it has started hurting again today after almost a week worries and depresses me.
Maybe time for a new haircut??
Friday, January 22, 2010
Nearing what I perceived as the end of the 3k easy loop I began patting myself on the back. "That 3k was easy. And didn't take me very long at all!" At the last fork in the road I glanced at the map and took off on my final little loop back to the parking lot. 15 minutes later, the end still hadn't come. "Boy," I thought, "That map must not be to scale. I'll just keep going."
A few minutes later I was back at the same fork in the trail, staring at the same map. "Oh! I see! I went the wrong way! Foolish girl! I'm supposed to go this other way!" I chuckled at my foible and headed down the other path, certain of my eventual victory.
Another 20 minutes or so and there I stood - back at the same map.
Now I was certain that I had read the map wrong. Still feeling mostly cheery, I took the first path again, knowing I would be back in the car in no time, laughing at my skiing misadventures.
Nope. Upon reaching that fork AGAIN my now completely deflated ego was quickly replaced with an over-active imagination. "Is this the Twilight Zone? Is there some kind of black hole on this trail that no one told me about? *gasp!* Maybe it's worse than that. What if I fell and hit my head and died and this is hell and I have to go around this loop for all eternityahhhhhhhh!!"
"Get ahold of yourself!" I ordered myself. I couldn't let my new found Sisyphus-complex get the better of me. I took the first loop again, knowing that's where I was supposed to go.
And what did I find when I got to where trail split off? (something that had apparently alluded me on 2 previous trips) The steepest, curviest, icy-ist, scariest hill EVER. It became quickly clear to me what happened. The part of my brain that values my limbs being in tact had hog-tied and gagged the part of my brain that allows me to follow simple directions. And now I know why.
I'll spare you my inglorious decent (on my getting-tougher-by-the-day ass) but I finally made it to the car, one hour later than I was supposed to. Se la vie.
I took today off from skiing. But! Next time I KNOW I'll be able to find my way. And since my ego can't take much more of a beating, I'll only have to worry about breaking every bone in my body! Stay tuned!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
No, only kidding! Cough.
This weekend marked my cross country skiing debut. I went in determined, fearless, and confident. 3K easy loop? Piece of cake! And that piece of cake tasted like misreading-of-the-map-ending-up-on-a-6k-intermediate-loop-baptism-by-fire goodness! Yum! The plus side? If you connect the bruises on my ass it kind of looks like a T-Rex.
But then, as I collapsed into the car, I felt this warmness...this watery substance started seeping from my pores (could this be "sweating" that the common folk speak of?). Warm in the winter and working out? Too good to be true? Apocalypse now? I'll let the reader decide.
Things got even more interesting on the way home between my co-skier and I:
He: "Do you want to know a secret?"
Me: eyes widening "Yeeeeeeees"
He: "If you keep pushing yourself, go skiing everyday for a week or so, you'll break that plateau and you won't be sore anymore...like athletes. And you'll actually tone up a little and be stronger too."
Me: eyes wiiiiiiiiiidening "Me? Athlete? Toned? Warm???"
And yes, I've gone skiing everyday since. I'm proud to say I've even learned how to fall "properly." (Sitting back and sliding down hill on already bruised, cushioned butt cheek = good. Getting your skis crossed and falling forward with all your weight on one rolled ankle = bad) And I've enjoyed myself. Dare I say I even wish it was a little bit *colder* outside? (cowers under desk waiting for snowy, icy, windy, inevitble blizzard of death)
My new found smug sense of self-satisfaction and I wonder if there's anything we can't do? Climb Mt. Everest? Find the Loch Ness Monster? Bring about world peace? Drugs?
No, no, scratch that last one. Cough.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh great, another dumb girl talking about football." To which I would respond, "Shut up. I'm cuter/smarter/funnier than your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/divorced parent that you're living with right now." But I digress...
This weekend, four football games were played, three of which were predictable. Just as they should be. 2 #1 seeds and one #2 seed moving on. Ho hum. And then Rex "Yes-I-really-am-this-jolly-all-the-time" Ryan's JETS decimated and humiliated Norv "Anything-resembling-a-smile-will-certainly-crack-my-face-in-half" Turner's highly favored Chargers. It. was. amazing. Left with a renewed sense of anything-can-happenness and an insatiable crush on Mark "I-look-like-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing-but-I'm-playing-in-the-AFC-Championship-so-all-you-naysayers-can-shove-it-up-your-ass" Sanchez, I can't wait for next Sunday.
In other news, welcome to my blog whomever you are. Suffice it to say I like bringing smiles to people's faces. I tried the whole deep, personal, woe is me blog and promptly quit (committment phobe? trust issues? choose you're own disorder!) Even if you don't think my blog is funny (but how could you not...seriously). Smile. You'll feel better.
And now you know the rest of the story. (That's not copyrighted, right??)