Thursday, March 4, 2010

but what are my lucky numbers?

"Life is a journey, not a destination."

So says a tag on the inside of the zipper on a pair of my jeans. Where to begin?

Apparently I have the memory of a hamster because it always catches me by surprise whenever I wear the pants and this cycle of "what does this mean" and "why is it on my crotch" begins all over again.

So why is it there? Presumably as some kind of gentle reminder to live life to the fullest, concealed in a place that only you would see. It's like a little secret between you and the pants that also gives a little confidence boost when you're sitting on the pot thinking about things. It could also be a slightly gimmicky but slightly clever marketing ploy by said jean company that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of (note to self: when blogging about clothes, have them on or nearby) "Crotch slogans! That'll keep 'em coming back for more!" Like reeeeaaaaallly expensive fortune cookies.

During my many musings regarding these pants this weekend (read: bad Mexican food) I wondered why they chose these particular phrase for their crotch-slogan? Is it a favorite adage of the fashion designer? Some kind of company empowerment motto? Random slogan hat drawing party?

Whatever the actual reason, the only logical conclusion to be reached by a gutterball like me is that my nether region is not a destination, it is a journey. Or it's a destination on the journey of pleasuring me...which is really what my life is all about - me being satisfied. Thank you fortune cookie pants for advertising my narcissism for me to potential husband-types. And to those of you lucky enough to stumble upon my flower pot region, heed the fortune cookie pants' innuendo, lest you befall 7 years bad luck and sexual frustration.

(ps - in case you couldn't tell...coming home from vacation is hard...)