Thursday, February 18, 2010

even i don't look as ridiculous as you....

Yesterday I was at the gym, minding my own business, when this Tooly McToolerson gets on the treadmill next to mine and, after he is up to jogging speed, begins talking on his cell phone....on speaker phone.

Really? Are you that busy and important at 430pm that you can't even take a half hour for yourself? (Judging by his young, unprofessional face and "yeah, man, that's awesome" every other sentence, I'm guessing he's not busy or important).

So here's my question: Who the Fuck are you talking to!!?!??!!!? Seriously? I can't think of a single person I'd want to talk to while I'm running, panting, grunting or cussing (the Four Stages of "Me at the Gym"). And naturally, I thought he'd hang up but he didn't. After several minutes I became very interested in this guy, waiting for him to a) drop his phone and watch it smash into a thousand pieces; b) get tripped up and fall off the treadmill; or c) both.

Common courtesy aside, you look like a complete dbag. Does it motivate you? Is there no other time you can talk to your friends? Are you that attached to your cell phone you're not sure how to behave if you're not talking/texting every second of the day?

Another time, I saw this girl laying on a mat, talking on her phone, not even pretending to work out or stretch. WTF? Were your roommate and her boyfriend making out on the couch at home so you had to come to the gym to sit on your ass and gab? Does it make you feel accomplished - "well at least I went to the gym today..."

Like I really needed another reason to loathe the gym. (The only reason I've gone every day this week is to watch curling and women's hockey because I don't have cable. USA!)

Next time, I just may say something. Something like, "Hey, douchebag! Hang the fuck up before you fall down and hurt yourself."

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